It’s here. It’s finally here. I’ve been waiting for this day since November, and it’s finally here. Along with my fellow writer Chris, I have a love of the “so-bad-they’re-good” genre of film. Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle, Dude Where’s My Car, the list goes on and on. I know that they’re not going to be winning any Oscars anytime soon, but they’re just so freakin’ funny. It is with that same excitement that I anticipated the release of the new Rambo movie. I first saw this trailer in front of American Gangster, and it seemed that a number of people felt the same way I did. Laughter permeated through the theatre as we see Sylvester Stallone galloping through the jungle. Now, I haven’t seen this movie yet and this article is not about the newest installment in the series. This article chronicles a brilliant idea I had. With thoughts of the trailer in my mind and when I was out for some beers with a friend, it came to me: Rambo Movie Marathon! So, this past Saturday, I gathered with 7 of my friends, some pizza, some beer, and we set off on what I like to call The Rambo Experience, all 3 Rambo movies back-to-back-to-back.
First BloodThis was a funny start to the marathon. There is actually only one death in this film as John Rambo is abused by some local American cops led by Brian Dennehy and a baby-faced David Caruso. Despite trying to play it the movie straight, there is unintentional comedy all over the place: the emotive piano score over Stallone looking pensive, occasional cheesy Vietnam flashback, the local Army Reserves having an extremely convenient rocket launcher. As Rambo hunkers down in the jungle and the locals send more and more people after him, the laughter picked up in the room. The film has that grainy 80’s look and Stallone’s hair is, well, there is a reason that the mullet went out of style. As this movie progressed, I became worried about the rest of the marathon. Even for a so-bad-it’s-good film, well, the film just wasn’t that good. After the initial mockery and laughter, people kind of settled down and it made me wonder if the whole marathon was perhaps just a bad idea. This, however, quickly changed as the next film began.
Rambo IIIDue to some issues with Netflix, we were forced to find an alternate source for the three Rambo films and since Rambo II hadn’t arrived yet, we jumped ahead to Rambo III. It was exactly what the marathon needed. This 3rd installment is exactly what I expected: over the top, preachy, violence on top of violence on top of violence. On top of that, the plot involves Rambo getting pulled away from a Tibetan monastery when his old boss Trautman (Richard Crenna) is captured by the Soviets in Afghanistan. (Note: it should be noted that Richard Crenna along with Stallone is the only person to appear in all three films, and clearly realized what shlock it was when he starred on the Rambo spoof Hot Shots: Part Deux in exactly the same role he played in the Rambo films.) That’s right, Rambo is in Afghanistan teaching us life lessons about tolerance and acceptance just before he kills wave after wave of Soviets and Afghans. During his time in Tibet, it is clear that the monks there have a steady supply of mousse and anabolic steroids as both Stallone’s hair and upper body have gotten considerably larger. In the films final act, Trautman and Rambo together kill what seems to be hundreds of soldiers coming across a barren desert to kill them. Yet incredibly, with no obstacles whatsoever, these hundreds of soldiers can’t hit either soldier as they stand there firing their automatic weapons. So, in summar: 1st film - serious & no death, 3rd film - funny & lots of death, what would the 2nd film bring?
Rambo: First Blood Part IIAfter a brief intermission which included a discussion of whether First Blood Part II should perhaps have been called Second Blood, we dove into what truly turned out to be the best film of the series. Part II was able to truly bridge that gap between the two other films by adding some violence yet keeping the attempt at seriousness alive. The difference that stands out most in my mind is the first attempt to give a Rambo film a romantic aspect. John develops a relationship with a local guide in North Vietnam, and they even share a slightly tender moment next to a stream in the middle of the jungle. I can’t ruin the moment of what happens next but the laughter could have been heard all the way in Indiana. Upon retrospect, the unintended choice of watching II after III worked perfectly; it held some semblance of plot while still preaching the story of tortured Vietnam Vet.
So, after a good 6 hours, and a bunch of beer, our Rambo marathon came to a close. There were some people who dozed off at points and they were mocked accordingly, but all in all, it was a great refresher to really how painfully bad these films were originally. They haven’t gotten better with age, they’ve just gotten funnier. And with that, I go with absolute glee to see and review the new Rambo film for next week. Even better, you should go out, have your own out of order Rambo marathon. I promise you that you won’t be disappointed