The Cardinal Review: Rambo Rambo
by Stephen Goetz

"While watching 90 minutes of a senior citizen Rambo reeking havoc, I kept hoping it would get better."
The Cardinal Review: Teeth
Teeth
by Christopher Collier

"Despite the absurd (and disturbing) premise, Teeth and in particular Jess Weixler pulls (snips?) it off for 88 scary, witty, disgusting, cringe-inducing, funny minutes."
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THE WEEKLY RANT

February 8, 2008

Well, we can't because of Pillow Pants

snip..snipThis past week, I had the opportunity to watch one of the most frightening and enjoyable movies I have ever seen. It is the stuff that the worst (male) nightmares are made of and done in such a perfect way, that it was hard not to enjoy it, even though I spent most of film with my legs tightly crossed. I am talking about the new tongue-in-cheek horror film Teeth. A bizarre film that centers around the vagina dentata myth (dentata, for those non-Latin speakers, means teeth) and a sterling performance by actress Jess Weixler, Teeth is the story of a chastity-preaching girl with violent powers. As she learns about her hidden gift, the men that cross her path soon find out as well, and most of them leave less than the man they were. Even though we have just put together our list of the great, artistic films of 2007 (you can read our Top Five Films of 2007 list here), there is something really satisfying about going to see a movie that you know is not going to have that much depth, but just going to because it will be enjoyable cringe-inducing.

Steve had a similar experience with Rambo. While his review give the film a critical examination of its place in the the Rambo pantheon, his statement to me upon leaving the theater: "i have seen the rambo...it was just what i thought it would be...lots of laughter" sums it up. After watching powerful, gut-wrenching movies all Fall, the start of 08 has started just like any other year: with entertainment and laughs leading the charge. (Check out A.O. Scott's article on February love films that ran in the Sunday New York Times.) There is a problem with this season though. As we saw last year, the good films are few and far between. 2007 started with some horrible movies: Smokin' Aces and the winner of our poll for worst film of 2007 The Number 23. Despite Teeth and Cloverfield, there is a LOT of junk in the theaters at the moment. So much so, that I am thinking of staying at home and getting some NetFlix watching done instead of my weekly foray to the screen. There is no way that I am going to see Hannah Montana, even if it is the best grossing film on fewest number of screens, and I am not that thrilled by How She Move, Strange Wilderness, or First Sunday either. The only thing I am considering going to see Woody Allen's newest Cassandra's Dream, and that is solely due to the Philip Glass score.

The good news is, there is hope around the bend. There looks to be a bunch of good films coming up in late February and we just need to bide our time until then. Leading the pack is the Jack Black/Mos Def zany throwback to VHS Be Kind, Rewind. What makes the film even better than the crazy plot is the fact that Michel Gondry is directing. To understand Gondry's brilliance and use of simple camera tricks, check out this link (the picture above) to the movie trailer, completely re-done with only Gondry himself. For more on the releases in February, check out Shane Jenkins' overview of the month at The Bad Splice.

Congratulations to Mary Chris DeBelina, winner of last week's Quirk Quiz. For those of you who know the Weird Al movie UHF the Rambo spoof we features (in conjunction with the release of Rambo) should have been instantly memorable. I have been trying to think of other movies with Rambo spoofs, and I think I can only come up with one other, and that is Gremlins 2. Pretty sure the two are not easily confused. This week, our question which could win YOU a free book is a tie in to the concert stage movie Hannah Montana etc.. The pic below is not from the movie, but I gave you a couple obvious hints...

Till next week ,
~Chris

OPENING: Feb. 1, 2008

The Eye
Strange Wilderness
Over Her Dead Body
Hannah Montana & Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert Disney Digital 3D*
Caramel [limited]
Trailer Park Boys: The Movie [limited]

* designates a film we are excited about this week...and a hint to the Quirk Quiz

IN THEATERS

Atonement
Before the Devil Knows
Cloverfield
Diving Bell and the Butterfly
The Golden Compass
I am Legend
Into The Wild
I'm Not There
Juno
The Kite Runner
Michael Clayton
National Treasure 2
No County for Old Men
Rambo
Sweeny Todd
Teeth
There Will Be Blood

NEXT WEEK

  • Cassandra's Dream

POLL QUESTION

The release of Hannah Montana & Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert Disney Digital 3D makes you want to:

Jump for joy because you have had advance tickets for weeks and Hannah Montana is the coolest!
Still go out to the theaters, but get annoyed by the endless throngs of kids singing and dancing in the lobbies.
Vow to never watch another movie, crawl into a hole, and mourn the fate of American entertainment.
What is this site? I got re-routed here by accident while searching for porn.
For more info, content and all around e-fun, please visit Quirkbooks.com
Enter for a chance to win a book from Quirk Books! Each week we have a new question that challenges your movie knowledge and each week we offer you the chance to claim it for yourself! It's simple: answer the question correctly corresponding to the picture below and you will be automatically entered to win! Click here to join The Society for the Prevention of Over-Use of Exclamation Marks!

Name the band that performed the hit number "Stonehenge" in their 1984 rock-u-mentary.






Offical-ish Rules: Answers for this week's Quirk Quiz will be accepted until Midnight EST Thursday, February 7th . The winner will be selected at random from all the correct answers.

The Ambler Theater The Bad Splice with Shane Jenkins Rotten Tomatoes Film Spotting
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